While cats don't usually live forever, a part of me believed he would. He was
playful, curious, and full of that spark that made him unique, even when he
started slowing down these past few months. I told myself he was just aging
gracefully, like a fine cheese or a wise old owl.
On New Year's Day, I noticed something wasn't right. His appetite was
dwindling. The treats – his absolute weakness – were the only thing he'd eat. Even his bathroom habits changed, and if
you've ever had a cat, you know they're creatures of routine. I took him to
the vet, hoping for a fixable issue, but what I heard felt like a punch to
the chest.
A tumor. Cancer.
I came home with medication and hope, but mostly, I came home with tears.
The kind that don't stop even when you tell yourself to be strong. He
didn't deserve this. He was too pure, too sweet, too perfect.
We tried everything the vet suggested – medications, love, cuddles, and more medications. And for a while, it seemed
to work. He bounced back, even scratching his board with gusto and giving me
his usual "feed me now" stares. For a brief moment, I dared to hope.
But hope slipped away on January 21st. That morning was cloudy, like the
universe itself was mourning with us. I woke up at 9 am to bring him his
favorite breakfast, only to find him lying near the big glass window, weak and
surrounded by messes he never would have made before. He was always so proper
about his bathroom routine. But that morning, everything felt off. He wouldn't
eat, not even his beloved treats. That was a huge red flag in my book. My
baby, who used to go crazy at the sound of the treat bag crinkling, just laid
there, quietly distant.
We tried to stay calm, but tears fell as we carried him to his little bed. We
placed him by the window he loved so much, letting him watch the world go by
one last time. Later, I carried him outside, cradling him like the baby he'd
always be to me to feel the sun one last time. He loved the
outdoors – the sounds of the birds, the distant hum of an airplane, the world he was
about to leave. He responded to those sounds, even in his weakness, and for a
moment, it was like he was saying goodbye to everything he loved.
By 2 pm, I knew. My baby was slipping away. I held his paw, whispered every
loving word I could think of, and told him it was okay to let go. At 2:30 pm,
he took his last breath. His chonky, warm body grew cold, and just like
that, he was gone.
I cried.
Hysterically.
In tears, we wrapped him in a batik cloth, kissed him goodbye more times than
I could count, and placed him in his forever spot under the coconut tree in
our backyard. A place where the sun always shines, where he can rest
surrounded by warmth and love.
For years, he was my shadow, my joy, my little miracle. He turned the mundane
into magic. I'll never meet another soul like him, and honestly, I don't want
to.
I keep finding myself in the places he loved most, hoping I'll feel him there
again. The emptiness he left behind feels unbearable. I know time will soften
the sharp edges of this pain, but right now, I just want to drown in my
sorrow, in the love I'll always carry for him.
Rest well, Baby. No pain can touch you now. Thank you. For your
love, your purrs, your silly little antics. You were my joy, my comfort, my
sweet little boy who made every day brighter. I'll love you forevermore, and
one day, I'll be able to think of you and smile instead of cry.
For now, though, the tears keep coming.
I'll see you soon, Baby.
I am so sorry to read about the loss of your cat. He really is so cute. I know the pain of losing a cat, it's heartbreaking, sending lots of love and strength Lenne x
ReplyDeleteLucy Mary